Why I Chose To Write About Grief

I love reading, particularly romance novels and thrillers. When I first wrote my manuscript for Love, Loss and Little White Lies, which at the time was called Millennial Pink, it was a young-Bridget-Jones style comedy.

I never thought I would get published or that people other than my friends and family would want to read my work. I realised that I wanted to use my platform to speak about issues that as a wider society we consider ‘taboo’. Issues that we all face everyday and intrinsic factors that make-up relationships.

Relationships are multi-faceted, we go through the trials and tribulations, the ups and downs of our life with someone else. We experience their highs and their lows just as much as they experience ours. You share families, friends, memories, love and loss.

Grief is a topic that many people shy away from. Most people don’t know what to say when you tell them a loved one has died. They say sorry but then the conversation stops. We feel awkward that we don’t know what to say.  It’s not something that people continue to talk about. Grief is a delayed emotion, one that frequents itself throughout your whole life. And it’s sometimes in those years after you’ve lost someone that you feel most vulnerable, and everyone else seems to have forgotten about it.

Most people have experienced grief in some way or another. Personally, I have experienced grief through grandparents, aunties, uncles and family friends. Some of those deaths took us by surprise and were more sudden than others. It was in covid that losing a loved one really hit me. A family friend suddenly lost his partner, and I really felt his loss. He was and still is very open about his feelings and I commend him for this. He lets on about his good and his bad days and doesn’t shy away from his feelings. I wanted to explore this topic in young people. I thought about what it would be like to lose your life partner at a young age, when you still had your whole life to live together.

I wanted to write about this topic in a relatable way. Create a novel that people wanted to read and didn’t get overwhelmed with sadness. I wanted to make the memories real and poignant, and the sadness felt but quickly dissipated by laughs.

I also wanted to make this a romance novel through and through. Where love is at the core. I did a lot of research around grief and tapped into the emotions by people felt around me. Through family members and friends and those I reached out to on podcasts, social media and blogs.

Most of all I want my debut novel to start conversations. To take the ‘how are you?’, ‘I’m fine.’ Up a notch and encourage us to check on our friends and family always, no matter how much time has passed.

Love, Loss and Little White Lies is available on Amazon. As paperback, ebook and audible.